A REALLY big fish story
"biggest fish I ever landed was in 19 'n' 38. Remember it like it was yesterday," lied the old fisherman.
"Grasshoppers were as thick as hair on a hound dog's back. I was using a grasshopper for bait and to be perfectly honest I was taking a little snooze when all of the sudden my rod nearly jerked out of my hand. I grab it, rear back and set the hook. But my line busts. I lose the fish.
I take a spool of heavy line, string it to my reel, tie on a hook, slip a lively hopper into place and throw back out in the same spot. This time I'm not sleepy 'cause I figure I got a big fish in a hungry way.
Sure enough, he takes the bait. But also take my rigging and strips off every inch of line. I vow then to catch this monster. I run back to town, buy a hundred feet of one inch hemp rope and have a blacksmith fashion me a hook out of double ought-horse shoe.
When I get to my fishing hole I bait up with the biggest hopper I can find, throw in and tie off the end to the top of a fair sized tree. Just before dark I catch that fish. He fights terrible hard and since theirs nothing I can do I go home, come back the next morning and that tree is still whipping back and forth. It took two full days for that fish to tire. Then I hired a ream of stout horses to pull it up on the bank.
I can't rightly recite how big that fish was in yards and feet but to show you -- a logging outfit ended up suing me. They were having a log drive at the time and when I pulled that fish out they claimed it dropped the river so much there wasn't enough water to float their logs."
Very funny
http://media.putfile.com/Audi-RS4-vsadot-Slak
Its in Spanish, so I couldn't understand it, but I thought it was funny anyways.
Some Dudes bear hunt.
The old man was sitting in the tavern on the first seat at the bar. A tenderfoot wandered in and the old man grabbed him by the sleeve and implored, "Sit down here friend. I ever tell you about the time I went bear hunting?"
Well, it was in the fall. There had already been a dusting of snow in the high country. You probably know this, but just before bears go into hibernation they are as fat and sassy as they get. That is the best time to hunt bear."
"I crawled on Scout, my saddle horse. He was as trusty a critter as ever walked on four feet. I packed many a deer and elk and bear with him. But anyways, back to my bear hunt. I went riding off on scout into the hills, went a considerable long ways before I caught sight of a bear. From the size I judged him to be a 2 year old. He was so preoccupied in trying to dig a squirrel out from under the tree root that he never even suspected I was in the country."
"I kilt him, field dressed him where he lay and with a great amount of effort succeeded in loading the beast on Scout. As it turned out that was the easy part because on the way back we had to ford a river. Maybe I failed to mention this but Scout was plumb terrified of water. Still I'm thinking with a little encouragement I can coax him to cross. But Scout absolutely refused."
"And so finally I pull the bear off, balance it over my shoulders and stagger into the river. Not to brag none but in those days I was big and strong as an ox. Still it seemed that the bear weighed a solid ton. I had to walk on the bottom, came up coughing and sputtering and as I crawled onto the far bank I take a look, and.... That horse of mine was riding atop the bear! Really did happen. Yeah, I swear it did."
"So did I ever tell you about the time...."
Did you know?
More people are killed by donkeys than by airplane crashes.
A question of weather
A traveler entered the merchantile store where a 1/2 a dozen men were gathered around a potbelly stove. Trying to make conversation he inquired, "So, what do you think the weathers going to do?"
"Only a dumb fool or a newcomer would try to predict the weather", groused one man.
"Weather!" exclaimed another man, "I tell you it rained 18 inches at my place last evening. On this side of the mountains we measure rain a little different though, here we measure the number of inches between the drops."
A third man entered the conversation. "Round this neck of the woods it's generally so dry you have ta be primed before you can spit."
A fourth offered " One time the neighbor hand-dug himself a well. He hoarded that water like it was gold, he did. One day a twister came along and sucked out every bit of water out of that well. The air was so dry that it vaporized, all except one drop which fell and hit his daughter in the forehead. Surprised her so much she fainted and it took 2 buckets of sand to bring her around."
"Sounds 'bout right," said the fifth man. "Dry as a bone around these parts and the wind, boy does it the wind blow! One time I was coming past a soddbuster's house and he was fixing a weather copntraption, hanging a logging chain from a tall pole. When I asked how it worked he said that when the chain was hanging straight out it was a gental breeze. But when the links start snapping off the end, then it was classified as a real wind.
"Thats nothing," exclaimed the sixth man. "I remember the time was digging fence holes in Colorado and the wind came up, blew so hard that I had to travel all the way to Nevada before I found where they had landed."
With that the traveler, shaking his head, departed.
Turbo charged motor cycle.
http://media.putfile.com/R1-Turbo
His speedometer reads in kilometers so don't be fooled. Its still really fast though.
11 second scooter
Redlines at 23,000 rpm, turbo charged with a front mount intercooler, nos. Beat a firebird with nos. Very crazy.
My Metro's cold air intake
I made it out of 3" galvanized pipe and put a K&N look alike filter on it.
